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 How to Piss People Off

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Jarhead999 76 65
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PostSubject: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:00 pm

I have to share these with you guys. When I read these, I could not stop laughing. Enjoy!

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. don't use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
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c0mr4d3
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:13 pm

Dude this is probably the best list of annoyance anyone has ever came up with my friend.
I got one you could wear blind person glasses and run into everyone and hit them with you cane!
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Omega Lambda
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:17 pm

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

George Bush?
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c0mr4d3
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:18 pm

97. Never break eye contact
Lol get some body armor and walk around the L.A. project and do this and get shot at ahahaha
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Jarhead999 76 65
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:19 pm

that's what YOU think!
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c0mr4d3
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:20 pm

don't pull number 16 on me that pisses me of Very Happy
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Jarhead999 76 65
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:22 pm

don't pull number 16 on me that pisses me of?

that's what YOU think! Laughing

I am having way too much fun here, in accordance with the Prophecy.
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c0mr4d3
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:24 pm

And have you ever felt an urge to hurt animals?




(number 93)
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Jarhead999 76 65
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:30 pm

that's what YOU think!

Haha, I'm going to have to stop for now, my stomach is hurting too much from laughing, in accordance with the Prophecy.
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c0mr4d3
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 5:48 pm

You realize its like 2am and in accordance with the prophecy what YOU think!
...---.--.-...-.--.-.--.---.--.-.-
01001001 11101001
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Insane Mercc
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:17 pm

77. The one about an accent...I do my "In Soviet Russia" accent and my girlfriend loves it...so accents aren't always annoying!

And we did almost name my dog(Rambo) Dog because my dad and I both love John Wayne movies!
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:26 pm

Insane Mercc wrote:
and my girlfriend loves it
That's what YOU think.
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Insane Mercc
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:28 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Good one but now i am supicious of her....DANG!! Now im more paranoid!!
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:48 pm

thats what you think!


almost as funny to say that as it is to laugh suspiciously at everything
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Sat May 01, 2010 12:26 am

lol
101. drive thru mcdonalds and say oh sorry i got no money.. and repeat that process over and over until they get really pissed
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Sat May 01, 2010 2:15 am

THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK, IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY

101. DRIVE THRU MCDONALDS AND SAY OH SORRY I GOT NO MONEY.. AND REPEAT THAT PROCESS OVER AND OVER UNTIL THEY GET REALLY PISSED?
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br55ftw
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Sun May 02, 2010 9:40 pm

No, you go up to McDonalds and ask for a Whopper. Or vise-versa. And in accordance with the prophecy, obviously.
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Sun May 02, 2010 10:25 pm

Have you guys ever heard of that prank where you go to the drive through, order a milkshake, and then when they give it to you, you throw it back through the drive through window and scream "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" ? Like these

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Insane Mercc
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Sun May 02, 2010 10:50 pm

I have heard of the Fire in the Hole game....the guys that started it and put it on the internet got arrested and were court ordered to make a public apology.....so...good luck with that!
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PostSubject: Re: How to Piss People Off   Wed May 12, 2010 12:30 pm

Yeah, I don't reckon I would do it, I was just asking if you guys knew it, in accordance with the Prophecy.
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