jokes here!

hey guys, submit your jokes here, ill give you my favorite top ten, in no specific order:

1.)what does snoop dog use to wash his whites? bleeoch
2.)what are the two most ''dirtiest'' animals in the farmyard? brown chicken brown cow (if you don't get it ask me)
3.)what's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? beer nuts are a dollar fifty, and deer nuts are under a buck
4.)where are a pirates buckanners? under his bucking hat
5.)does snoop dog ever need an umbrella? fa' drizzle
6.)whats red and smells like blue paint? red paint
7.)what's the difference between a coyote and a flea? one howls on the prarie and one prowls on the harry
8.)how many dragon ball z characters does it take to change a lightbulb? one, but it will take a bout 6 episodes
9.)there are two muffins in a oven one says ''hey its hot in here'', the other says '' holy crap! a talking muffin!''
10.) what did the pirate say when he had a steering wheel in his pants? Argh! its drivin' me nuts



sumbit your jokes now!

okay, some of these are kind of weak, but the title is [b]Things Not to Say in Basic[b]

1. Um, sir, you're beginning to hurt this recruit's feelings. May this recruit go and cry now?

2. DI: Recruit, why the "Watch your language" do you have marijuana in your footlocker?
Recruit: It's not this recruit's, sir.
DI: It's not yours, eh? Then how the "Watch your language" did it get here?
Recruit: This recruit wouldn't know, sir, he only does cocaine.

3. DI: I hear your daddy fought in Vietnam, recruit.
Recruit: Yes sir.
DI: And did he have the balls to die there?
Recruit: Umm, no sir.
DI: Too frickin' bad. I hope he got wounded there, at least.
Recruit: Umm, thank you, sir?


4. Recruit at grenade range: Why is there a pin but no grenade? Oh, shi--

5. Recruit: Them bullets, do they hurt?

6. Recruit: I wonder what happens when I push this button.

7. Recruit: So I wait three seconds, then throw the pin?

8. Recruit: How different can an AT-4 be than a shotgun?

9. Recruit: If I paint a medic's cross on my helmet, will the insurgents not shoot me?

10. Recruit: So the side of the Claymore that says '5000 Steel Pellets Coming Towards You, Really, Really Fast' goes towards me?

11. Recruit: Hey, let's see if we can get some of the metal from those RPG-7 warheads off. You get the hammer and I'll get the pliers.

nice guys nice.

haha. wait 3 second then throw pin.

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

haha, nice blonde joke

there u go sorry bout dat

no prob. i'll edit mine.

i found it online on google haha

If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them:

Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes
Bimbaffled - constant mental state of blondes
Bimbait - short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males
Bimbar - a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait
Bimbag - a blonde's purse
Bimbrushes - essential equipment in a bimbag
Bimbastic surgeon - specialist in breast enhancements for blondes
Bimbeeper - special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes
Bimbellow - sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard
Bimbillion? - a blonde giving an estimate of anything
Bimblaze - the result of a blonde trying to cook
Bimblues - a blonde's state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her
Bimboette - a young blonde
Bimbonese - language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else
Bimbonique behavior - airhead behavior, unique to blondes
Bimboozle - to fool a blonde
Bimbore - a blonde who uses "like" more than 10 times in a sentence
Bimbozo - another name for a blonde
Bimboron - a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes
Bimbrownie - a well-tanned blonde
Bimbrunette - a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is
Bimburden - blonde carrying too many bags at the mall

haha
you don't like blondes, do you?

Chuck Norris can swallow a transformer toy in car mode...then crap it out in combat mode.

optimus prime was made from chuck norris doing a firetruck, his sperm got in, creatinng optimus prime

and no, i like em, they jst so funny