| Writers? | |
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+6Jarhead999 76 65 iliveforthis99 DrummerBoyz95 lonesniper24 Spl. Durkee alexkmmll 10 posters |
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Jarhead999 76 65 General Grade 2
Posts : 4940 Join date : 2009-04-29 Age : 92 Location : Rio Rancho/NW Albuquerque, New Mexico, Socialist States of Obama
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:34 am | |
| Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, I had fun with it. Would you believe I did that in 45 minutes? | |
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DrummerBoyz95 General Grade 2
Posts : 3897 Join date : 2009-05-13 Age : 28 Location : Ventura County, CA
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:35 am | |
| - Creed769 wrote:
- I, believe it or not, have started righting poetry due to a class project, mostly Lyric though.
Here are 3 that I recently Wrote... (All are Lyric) The Clown Honk, Honk
Goes a clown’s bright nose.
Squish, Squash
Goes the clown’s bright shoes.
Squirt, Squirt
Goes the clown’s prank flower.
Clink, Clank
Goes the clown’s sharp knife.
Hee, Hee
Goes the clown’s demonic laugh.
Aaah!
Goes my raspy voice.
Squeek, Squeek
Goes my bed springs as I wake up sweating.
DUDE HOLY SHITT THAT'S AMAZING. | |
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Creed769 Colonel
Posts : 1009 Join date : 2008-12-30 Age : 30 Location : Southern California
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:36 am | |
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Spl. Durkee General Grade 2
Posts : 4652 Join date : 2009-03-28 Age : 67
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:36 am | |
| - Jarhead999 76 65 wrote:
- Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, I had fun with it. Would you believe I did that in 45 minutes?
Gah I wish I could find my finals essay from last year. Was a commentary on the American Revolution. I'll go find it haha...and post eventually | |
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Jarhead999 76 65 General Grade 2
Posts : 4940 Join date : 2009-04-29 Age : 92 Location : Rio Rancho/NW Albuquerque, New Mexico, Socialist States of Obama
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:37 am | |
| Creed, you afraid of clowns?
@Durkee Go for it! Sounds interesting | |
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Creed769 Colonel
Posts : 1009 Join date : 2008-12-30 Age : 30 Location : Southern California
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:38 am | |
| I forgot to mention, I'm working on a short Horror Story, basically zombies, but from a more "romantic" (not like romeo and juliet, thats not romaticism) POV. Shall I post each chapter as I go? | |
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Spl. Durkee General Grade 2
Posts : 4652 Join date : 2009-03-28 Age : 67
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:39 am | |
| - Creed769 wrote:
- I forgot to mention, I'm working on a short Horror Story, basically zombies, but from a more "romantic" (not like romeo and juliet, thats not romaticism) POV.
Shall I post each chapter as I go? Dear Godd haha. Umm...you may want to create another thread if you plan to do that. | |
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Creed769 Colonel
Posts : 1009 Join date : 2008-12-30 Age : 30 Location : Southern California
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:41 am | |
| I will I will, but only is there is a request... | |
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DrummerBoyz95 General Grade 2
Posts : 3897 Join date : 2009-05-13 Age : 28 Location : Ventura County, CA
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:42 am | |
| Alright here's the first couple paragraphs of the story I'm working on now. The whole thing is over 6 pages long so far so I won't post the whole thing. This is as much as I can show you without giving too much away.
It was a warm Spring afternoon in the year 2013. (Yeah, the world didn't end in 2012.) There was hardly any wind. I could see that the leaves on the trees outside the classroom were at a standstill. As I looked at the sky, I thought I saw three or four large aircraft off in the distance, just going behind some mountains hidden in dense clouds. Hmm... probably just birds, I thought. “Donald!” I finally heard Mrs. Morgan practically screeching at me, asking for an answer to a history question. “Uh, sorry, what was the question?” I asked. “Number 6 please, Donald.” “Sure, sorry,” I replied. After the silence during which I read the question, I answered, “Well y'know, Jefferson thought it would be good to pass that one act, 'cause--” “ON PAGE 263, DONALD.” “OH um...” I flipped forward a couple pages, studied the question, and looked for the answer in a previous page. “Um, the answer is eighteen-oh-seven,” I finally concluded. “Thank you, Donald. Maybe next time you'll pay attention during my lesson, right?” said Mrs. Morgan, who was an aging, short, loud woman who had been the History teacher since 1989. If you asked a student of P. Worthington High School, they would probably say '1889! She was born in the early 1800s wasn't she?' | |
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Creed769 Colonel
Posts : 1009 Join date : 2008-12-30 Age : 30 Location : Southern California
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:44 am | |
| Hahaha, its good, at least I liked it alot. | |
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DrummerBoyz95 General Grade 2
Posts : 3897 Join date : 2009-05-13 Age : 28 Location : Ventura County, CA
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:45 am | |
| Thanks | |
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Jarhead999 76 65 General Grade 2
Posts : 4940 Join date : 2009-04-29 Age : 92 Location : Rio Rancho/NW Albuquerque, New Mexico, Socialist States of Obama
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:48 am | |
| @Creed A zombie story... and a love story... how's that gonna work out? haha, I'm interested
@Drummer OMG!!!!! ARE THOSE PLANES RUSSIAN PLANES???!!!!! Hahaha | |
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Creed769 Colonel
Posts : 1009 Join date : 2008-12-30 Age : 30 Location : Southern California
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:50 am | |
| No Jarhead, not romantic like that. But from a romantic POV. | |
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Spl. Durkee General Grade 2
Posts : 4652 Join date : 2009-03-28 Age : 67
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:51 am | |
| - DrummerBoyz95 wrote:
- As I looked at the sky, I thought I saw three or four large aircraft off in the distance, just going behind some mountains hidden in dense clouds. Hmm... probably just birds, I thought.
Haha your narrator's thoughts contradict each other | |
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DrummerBoyz95 General Grade 2
Posts : 3897 Join date : 2009-05-13 Age : 28 Location : Ventura County, CA
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:52 am | |
| - Jarhead999 76 65 wrote:
@Drummer OMG!!!!! ARE THOSE PLANES RUSSIAN PLANES???!!!!! Hahaha Haha you'll see, that is if you read the whole story when I'm done with it. @Durkee Well you know what I mean right? Sometimes your mind makes itself think something different, just to feel safer. Ever get that feeling? | |
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iliveforthis99 Colonel
Posts : 1492 Join date : 2009-04-18 Age : 35 Location : Virginia
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:57 am | |
| Ok here's the intro to what i'm doing:
Space wavered and then exploded in a bright blue white light as a fleet of warships came out of hyperspace in high orbit around a small blue green world. The fleet was comprised of hundreds of assault and support vessels ranging in size of four kilometers long to a mere fifty meters in length. Space boiled again and a massive vessel five kilometers long appeared. It was a Dominance class cruiser called the Blood Tide. The Dominance class was the largest assault vessels produced by the Dread shipyards. Armed with enough fire power to glass an entire planet it bristled with weapons ranging from plasma based torpedoes and heavy laser emplacements to a multitude of smaller lasers capable pinpoint accuracy against ground targets and fighter craft. The sharp angular lines of its hull served to heighten the predatory look the designers wanted to install in its looks. The hull color was black as space like the other vessels in the Dread fleet but with a single unique look, a blood red stripe that traveled from stem to stern along the top and bottom of the ship.
On the dark bridge of the Blood Tide, Supreme Fleetmaster Torack stood like a statue staring out the forward viewport. The humanoid alien was viewed as a pinnacle of a great and fearsome Dread warrior; with a lean and muscular body that stood a hair over two meters tall he cut a very impressive pose. Torack wore his black hair like was the custom of the Dreads, loose and pulled back so that it hung partly past his large shoulders. His face showed many scars from a lifetime of violence and self inflicted wounds. Half of his snoutish nose was missing; the left eye socket was a mass of puckered and twisted flesh from an ancient wound, and his mouth showed gaps in several places from missing fangs. His long pointed ears lay almost flat against the sides of his head and bore gold metal piercings. The right eye was sunk into the skull and shown a vibrant red that bestowed fear and awe in his foes and subordinates. “Spectacular isn’t it?” Quietly muttered Torack almost to himself. “Indeed my Lord” spoke his second in command a female named Shatack. Sub Commander Shatack was equally built as Torack but with a pale face less twisted and scared than her leaders but she was nonetheless an imposing warrior. Toracks thin lips parted in a smile as he turned to face his subordinate. “If our Intel is correct this planet is weak and won’t offer much in a form of resistance. Pity, it’s been so long since I’ve conquered a world that could challenge us like warriors, and die with honor.” Shatack nodded in agreement and spoke a traditional Dread saying, “’The gods show no mercy for the weak.’ We should have no trouble blasting their primitive defense systems and burning their world from orbit.” “I have no doubt Shatack.” Replied Torack, “However that "Watch your language" high priest Nekja says the gods command us to take it by a long and expensive ground invasion. Not that I am displeased about a chance to bath in the glory of battle. But it is no test for a warrior to fight such a disgusting and primitive a species as these humans.” “Perhaps they shall surprise us. Perhaps the noble Don't use the Lord's name in vain. Dranax will give them at least some spirit to fight back with honor.” Spoke Shatack. “The gods are known to bestow such honor in ages past to those worthy.” Torack turned and glared with his sighted eye at the new comer. “Nekja, I give you greetings on this glorious day.” Torack said in faux gladness at the priest’s sudden appearance on the bridge. “Likewise Lord Torack, may the gods give you victory in the coming battles.” Replied Nekja in a more polite tone then Toracks. “As I was just telling Shatack high priest Nekja, I fear these humans will not give much sport or honor to our greatness. But, if the gods will it, it will be quite pleasing if these primitives can give us a good fight.” “Are our forces in position for the blessed opening assault?” Asked Nekja. “They are in position and ready to eliminate the planets meager defenses and major population centers.” Eagerly replied Shatack. “Then Fleetmaster, you have the blessings of the gods to proceed with our invasion.” Nekja said bowing low to Torack. “Guns!” barked Torack turning back to face the main viewport. “Open fire at your discretion and relay the order to your brothers on the other ships. All glory to Tellmack! Our ever glorious Don't use the Lord's name in vain. of war be praised!” Within seconds of issuing the order the fleet which had maneuvered above their targets opened fire.
Lasers and plasma torpedoes streaked through the atmosphere and lit up the sky raining destruction on the unprepared world below. Thousands of Za-talack fighters and El-tack bombers streamed out of the hangers of the ten massive carrier vessels and the other capital ships to conduct pinpoint ground attacks against nuclear missile silos and other defensive targets on the surface. In the mass of troop ships in orbit millions of Dread ground troops geared up and loaded into Jok-dack class assault landing boats looking forward in eagerness to the blood about to be spilt by their hands. The invasion of Earth had begun. | |
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Jarhead999 76 65 General Grade 2
Posts : 4940 Join date : 2009-04-29 Age : 92 Location : Rio Rancho/NW Albuquerque, New Mexico, Socialist States of Obama
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:59 am | |
| Read much Halo? Haha. It's good man, I like it | |
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DrummerBoyz95 General Grade 2
Posts : 3897 Join date : 2009-05-13 Age : 28 Location : Ventura County, CA
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:02 am | |
| - Jarhead999 76 65 wrote:
- Read much Halo?
Last time I checked, you couldn't read videogames
Last edited by DrummerBoyz95 on Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:03 am; edited 2 times in total | |
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Creed769 Colonel
Posts : 1009 Join date : 2008-12-30 Age : 30 Location : Southern California
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:02 am | |
| I like it too, but here is the intro to the story Im writing, I call it Rapunzel; Chapter 1 “There were once a man and a woman who had long in vain wished for a child. At length the woman hoped that Don't use the Lord's name in vain. was about to grant her desire. These people had a little window at the back of their house from which a splendid garden could be seen, which was full of the most beautiful flowers and herbs. It was, however, surrounded by a high wall, and no one dared to go into it because it belonged to an enchantress, who had great power and was dreaded by…” Suddenly a large crash rang through the house, and as Rick put the book down, and scooped up his daughter, he felt the dread of a certain doom falling on him. Instinctively he grasped his .44 Magnum, and was getting ready retreat into his “safe room” until a second crash came from the kitchen.
That's all I will post until I make a new thread. | |
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iliveforthis99 Colonel
Posts : 1492 Join date : 2009-04-18 Age : 35 Location : Virginia
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:04 am | |
| Yeah it has influences from Halo, Star Wars, Stargate, etc. It really mirrors what i read like, yet it's something i have control of how it's going and what will happen which makes it fun for me to do. | |
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DrummerBoyz95 General Grade 2
Posts : 3897 Join date : 2009-05-13 Age : 28 Location : Ventura County, CA
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:04 am | |
| @Creed Very nice! I like the quick change of pace @ilft99 I like yours too, pretty good for sci-fi which I'm not a fan of | |
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iliveforthis99 Colonel
Posts : 1492 Join date : 2009-04-18 Age : 35 Location : Virginia
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:09 am | |
| Thanks, i have a three other chapters building a back story on three of the main Earth humans and another in my head that'll introduce a new culture.
@Creed I was like WTF at the start and then WOW when i realized what you were doing. I like it. | |
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Jarhead999 76 65 General Grade 2
Posts : 4940 Join date : 2009-04-29 Age : 92 Location : Rio Rancho/NW Albuquerque, New Mexico, Socialist States of Obama
| Subject: Re: Writers? Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:40 am | |
| @Creed Seems pretty good so far. I'll take a look next time I log on | |
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