I believe most stories on this subject to have been made up...child's ideas of how warfare truly is. Remember that we are playing a game, not a war...First off, the word suicide is a loose term. The idea of using a tactic involving 'self sacrifice' is known in the world of war as the a couragous thing. Although I would say in some circumstances, such as yours, it is unnecessary. Hostage encounters, in combat and in airsoft, force people to think and act quickly...I think you did a llittle too much acting and not enough thinking. The goal of any hostage recovery team is to extract the subject ith as little phyical damage to the subject. By 'sacrificing' yourself, you turned a situation that didnt need imediate action into an unneedeod loss of players. Your reaction force could've likely extracted you after an assault. You say you were running out of time, but think...did we have enough time for an extraction team to move in on the compound and remove the aposing force? By getting yourself out, you undermined their work.