from jarhead "name it 'Jarhead999 76 65 Should Die" stories

ok this is his (and my) idea everyone makes 1 sentence adding onto the story.....

jarhead tripped on a rock with a tornado grenade in his hand, it blew up.

sending thousands of small 6mm plastic bb's tearing through his flesh turing his whole right side into a torn,bleeding mess.....

yea i know pretty graphic but i play alot of COD4

slowly the other players come over and beat him.

(i totally give my consent on this one, guys the whole point is to be a kind of 'sucks for you' sort of thing. just remember, it's all for fun!)
i am shot in the head with a .45 ACP, but somehow survive.

ok.. this one is pretty random but, then he gets up and goes to a bathroom, since the bbs riped threw parts of his intestines. so anyway, he gets to the stall, and since bbs ripped threw parts of his nerves, he begins to loose control of his bowels. and then some guy come in with a sented candle cuase it smells sooo bad, and puts it in there. Well... then the methane building up in his toilet bowl leaks out a bit... and BANG!!! he is killed instantly in the blast but his body still shoots threw the ceiling and climbs to an altatude where a small comercial airliner is flying, gets sucked into the turbine and cuases the whole plane to malfunction. as the plane spirals out of control it hits a gasoline tanker in a street, any everything within three blocks is destroyed....

i said not embarassing, Assult! good one, though.
okay, here's one.
i step on a madbull landmine, and a pellet, flying 700 fps for some ungodly reason, hits me in the you-know-where and causes my voice to squeek. while my teammates are busy laughing, an OPFOR sniper shoots me in the face with an L96. i then fall back, onto the trip wire for a claymore that shoots all 5000 pellets in my face. my team's SAW gunner stabs with a bayonet (yes, he put a bayonet on a frickin' machine gun) and i slowly start bleeding out.

ok and then the officals come and firing squad you

i am smacked upside the head with a sledgehammer.
(i think we should all check in for PsychEvals)

i bring a crew of 10 people with shovels, and while you bleed out, we beat you a couple of times, then burry you alive, we say a few words, and mumble the guy who paid us to kill you.

and i slowly reanimate and get smacked in the head with a 9-iron

The End.
Lets start another story shall we?

not how the game works, mike

it just continues forever.....


and then you get up and slowly smack a Team leader and his team hits you with an oak tree(WHAT????)

and your torso flies off but your legs are still there, and they start running after one of the officails, but then Chuck Norris comes out of nowhere and sends your legs into orbit by one of his roundhouse kicks.

and the body somhow grows new legs and runs to the rest room takes 4 min and walks out with a new head........
the legs reenter the atmosphere and burn up

my new body flies to iraq, where i order a beer, and, seeing as muslim culture does not allow alcohol, i am beat to death with a bible. israel declares war and saves my body, but sends me to Wall Street to work for them.

then the stockholders beat you with suitcases

and then i am hunted down by atheists and beat with a bible, again.

and impailed on a spike, then you go back to your spawn point

then an entire army of japenese people come and attack you with sticks.

and i am lit on fire, then put out, then lit on fire again.

then spencer from sham-wow comes up and rings out his soapy sham-wow in his eyes.

my eyes slowly burn, and i am thrown over a the Great Wall of China by 5 large canadian people

and a native American spears you

and i fall into a stream where i am beat severely by a salmon with a 'tude.