General Humour

Hey guys, just thought I'd start a thread for enjoyment and general hillarity. Everyone loves a good laugh. Just keep it appropriate and avoid political jokes if you would (unless they're just too perfect to not post). Also, as with this forum in general, racist stuff is just not cool. I'll start it off. Before I say this, let me just say that I don't agree at all and I am not at all a sexist, however, this is one of those under the too good not to post label. I've always wondered why women need drivers liscenses. I mean, do you really need a car to get from the kitchen to the washroom?

why do old people need liscenses when most of them drift in between lanes and go like 30 on the high way?

Ooh ooh I know this one! Is it, to get to the other side?

I tend to mumble alot, and my friends are constantly wanting to know what I just said. However, I'm usually just mumbling random crap to myself, but they reallllllyyyyyy want to know what I just said, so I end up yelling at the top of my lungs "MAN, THAT TREE SURE IS FAR AWAY!!!!!!"

I'm thinking about getting some lawn gnomes, I don't know, like a thousand. Then just lining them in military formation and pointing them towards the street. Then just not talk about. Eventually, one of my neighbors will crack. "Hey...Ed, what's up with all the gnomes?" "Don't worry, Dan. eventually the whole world will know. I can't control those gnomes forever".

end of funny.